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Who's story do you think is the best written?
Vote closed! |
| Bishop's |
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20% |
[ 7 ] |
| Bjorn's |
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34% |
[ 12 ] |
| Captin's |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Jefff's |
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2% |
[ 1 ] |
| Johnathan's |
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17% |
[ 6 ] |
| Poison's |
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8% |
[ 3 ] |
| Tango's |
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11% |
[ 4 ] |
| Drpepper's |
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2% |
[ 1 ] |
| Chaniii's |
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2% |
[ 1 ] |
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| Total Votes : 35 |
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| Author |
Message |
Johnathan Svoltaire
Warbears' Logo Creator
Joined: 27 Oct 2007
Posts: 2053
Location: United States
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 Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 6:26 am |
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| Funny Lebowski wrote: |
Wow, Johnathan...
I just went back to read yours, to see if I could find anything, but I really can't. That story was emotional, heart-stopping, and very descriptive.
In other words, your story was just about perfect. I don't see why people aren't voting for yours as much as Bjorn's and Bishop's. |
Thanks, a couple of college level English courses really does the trick 
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"Integration error. Microsoft's screw up is now in every application." |
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Bishop Panzerotten
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 2524
Location: Yellow district.
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| Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 8:29 am |
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I like your story to, John.
I think it should get more votes than it has. (Oh wait, I'm a competitor.)
Nah, I still think you should. 
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Poison Simpson
Joined: 29 Jun 2008
Posts: 4973
Location: Joey Sturgis' House
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| Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 9:11 am |
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Heh, I can tell I'm gonna lose.
I think either Bjorn, John, or Tango'll win.
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Bjorn Harlan
Quizaboom
Team Member
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 2466
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| Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 11:48 am |
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| Yeah, I didn't think you'd be shallow enough to rig the votes Bishop. |
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Bishop Panzerotten
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 2524
Location: Yellow district.
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| Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 12:20 pm |
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Bjorn, you are just making yourself look like a complete idiot.
If you was winning over me, I wouldn't start saying things like:
"He's rigged the votes."
"That's crazy."
And I'm not eve beating you anymore, so what's your problem?
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Sheena Totoro
Joined: 28 Apr 2007
Posts: 1114
Location: Slit-your-wrists land
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| Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 12:21 pm |
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He said he DIDN'T think you were shallow enough.
Now, stop fighting and shut up, everyone.
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Bjorn Harlan
Quizaboom
Team Member
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 2466
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| Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 12:45 pm |
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| Bishop Panzerotten wrote: |
| Bjorn, you are just making yourself look like a complete idiot. |
Poor Bishop. |
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Captin Simpson
Bug Hunters Team Member
Joined: 03 Nov 2007
Posts: 4612
Location: LOVINGTON
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| Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 3:18 pm |
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I liked Bjorn's. I voted for Bjorn.
I somewhat thought that Bish's was quite good for someone I'd least expect to enter.
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Bjorn Harlan
Quizaboom
Team Member
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 2466
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| Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 7:46 pm |
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| Tango and Drpepper deserve more votes. |
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Pancake Smith
Joined: 05 Aug 2008
Posts: 3110
Location: America
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| Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 4:25 am |
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The problem I had with Bishop's was that it was just dialog, and the parts that weren't dialog were covered in unnecessary commas (a pet peeve of mine) and countless other grammatical errors. The story wasn't finished, which was stupid. He didn't put the effort in to make an ending for the story. There's a difference between "suspense" and not satisfying the reader. This was the latter.
As for John's... I'm not really sure how to explain what I didn't like about it. It was written well, it was just the story I didn't like. I just couldn't help but think "OK, so someone called you a noob. Get over it." throughout the entire thing.
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Johnathan Svoltaire
Warbears' Logo Creator
Joined: 27 Oct 2007
Posts: 2053
Location: United States
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| Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 6:15 am |
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| Pancake Smith wrote: |
The problem I had with Bishop's was that it was just dialog, and the parts that weren't dialog were covered in unnecessary commas (a pet peeve of mine) and countless other grammatical errors. The story wasn't finished, which was stupid. He didn't put the effort in to make an ending for the story. There's a difference between "suspense" and not satisfying the reader. This was the latter.
As for John's... I'm not really sure how to explain what I didn't like about it. It was written well, it was just the story I didn't like. I just couldn't help but think "OK, so someone called you a noob. Get over it." throughout the entire thing. |
No, it wasn't just the noob part, i tried to make the story from his point of view.
I guess i needed to work on that part, but the point was the effects of demeaning others and how it can take a toll on the human mind.
I say the person was twisted even before the site, but my point is still valid.
I tried to get across the question, what are the effects of calling someone a demeaning name?
Hopefully, at least one person takes the story to heart and tries to be more considerate on how to treat people.
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Bishop Panzerotten
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 2524
Location: Yellow district.
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| Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 8:32 am |
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| Pancake Smith wrote: |
| The problem I had with Bishop's was that it was just dialog, and the parts that weren't dialog were covered in unnecessary commas (a pet peeve of mine) and countless other grammatical errors. The story wasn't finished, which was stupid. He didn't put the effort in to make an ending for the story. There's a difference between "suspense" and not satisfying the reader. This was the latter. |
Pancake, I can easily assure you that it is you that can seem to see all these "errors." I noticed a few spelling mistakes, what I agree with you was my own fault. The reason why I had made it "Not Satisfying", or as I would call it, A cliffhanger. I made it like that was because, if you weren't aware, I am making A Part 2. I figured it'd just be a waste unleashing it as all one, so I decided to make it in parts. It had nothing to do with me being lazy. And lastly, the reason why I used A lot of dialogue, is because I see it as a normal story, not a professionally one where the author drons on for hours on end about one little thing.Next time WILL have less dialogue, but I have explained why I used it in this part.
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Bjorn Harlan
Quizaboom
Team Member
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 2466
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| Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 10:24 am |
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| Bishop Panzerotten wrote: |
| The reason why I had made it "Not Satisfying", or as I would call it, A cliffhanger. |
Bishop, cliffhangers rely on suspense, which Pancake thinks the story lacks.
And he spelt dialogue the American way, no use correcting him. |
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Bishop Panzerotten
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 2524
Location: Yellow district.
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| Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 11:47 am |
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Yes, but Bjorn, he thinks it lacks suspense.
And about the Dialogue, I never said his way was wrong, I was correcting it to the British way.
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Bjorn Harlan
Quizaboom
Team Member
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 2466
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| Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 12:43 pm |
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| Bishop Panzerotten wrote: |
| Yes, but Bjorn, he thinks it lacks suspense. |
Of course he's operating on his opinion, so some people may differ in their argument, but I agree with him. |
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