things to say on a lift

[Fawcie Burritos]

(1) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask " Are you sure you've got enough air in there?"

(2) Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

(3) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

(4) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Mother/ Father.

(5) Meow occasionally. And lick your hand as a cat generally does.

(6) Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of them" and back away slowly.

(7) Say *ding* at each floor.

(8 ) Say "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

(9) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

(10) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I love you."

(11) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your phone ringing?"

(12) Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

(13) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space. I would appreciate it greatly if you respected that."

(14) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

(15) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

(16) Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

(17) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

(18 ) Drop a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine! THIEF!"

(19) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

(20) Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

(21) Swat at flies that don't exist, and occasionally land on someone else’s shoulder.

(22) Call out "Group hug" and well you know what to do after that!

Please add more!
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when life gives you lemons,make orange juice and leave everyone wondering how the hell you did it

http://www.danasoft.com/sig/456853.jpg

[Nico Lebowski]

call all the lifts to the top floor, (or the basement, where ever no one goes), put a box or something to block the sensor so the doors stay open. then go to the bottom floor and laugh very loud at all the people waiting for the lifts...

put sticky tape across the doors and stand there looking official. declare it a crime scene to anyone who comes near.
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"Reality doesn't care if you believe it."

<I am female, ok?

[Sparky Harlan]

Found these from a website....


Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Shake the person's hand when he/she enter the lift
Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
Shave.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
One word: Flatulence!
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
Leave a box between the doors.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
Play the harmonica.
Shadow box.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Lean against the button panel.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Bring a chair along.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
Blow spit bubbles.
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

[Max Totoro]

Heh, I got to try some of these. There's something so fun about all these people in one space, unable to escape.

I did something like this once, and almost everyone left at the next floor.

[Marcus Totoro]

If the lift is near a store say "Your going to rob this place,too?"
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LolWut

[Fawcie Burritos]

[Zeewonk Burritos]

i got some

get on alone and when someone gets on pretend you are sleeping and act like a hula dancer

bring a brush along and brush peoples hair until you find someone with a wig then ask that person what color his hair is and if he/she says what color his/her hair is and if he/she says the color of the wig then say incorrect in a robot like voice the pull the wig off O_o
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pika wit a cookie

[Kinky Simpson]

[Zeewonk Burritos]

pretend you are sleep walking, uh sleep dancing
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pika wit a cookie

[Nico Lebowski]

pretend you're sleep walking and hug someone. but dont let go when they want to get out. see if they too polite to shove you off.
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"Reality doesn't care if you believe it."

<I am female, ok?

[Shawn Anderson]

lol
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hey! look! it's the oldest trick in the book! *reaches for your wallet

[Medic Mazinga]

lol
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Bckt

[Robin Risotto]

After a couple of seconds, loudly yell, OH MY GOD! I NEED AN ELEVATOR NOT A LIFT!

[Garfield Simpson]

I got one:

Press your floor button. then say "C'mon, get there already!"
then press it again.
"I WANT MY FLOOR!"
Press the button a third time.
Then let the whining begin! (And slam a couple of walls if you want.)

Things to say:
"Oh my gosh. Are you...ARE YOU A CLONE?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I KNEW IT! YOU'RE WORKING FOR THEM! YOU'RE JUST WAITING TO TURN ME INTO ONE OF THEM!" Then pretend to have a seizure (or something.)
"Hey. Wanna see my driver's licence?"
"Oh no...it's...THIRTY DAYS OF NIGHT!! GAHHHHHHH! GET ME OUT OF HERE! THE MIST IS COMING! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" (Then smack every single floor button, or whatever.)
"Cool...I thought this was an alarm button, but it's a telephone button. Oh yeah, I just remembered...I have to call my lawyer." (Then everything else is up to you.)
When the door closes, scream: "I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC! I'M LOSING AIR! AIR! I NEED AIR! PLEASE! OPEN UP, I'M BEGGING YOU!" Then bang on the lift doors, and then go into a corner and start crying.
Pretend to hear something crack, and yell: "THE CABLE'S NEARLY BROKEN! WE'RE GOING TO TAKE THE PLUNGE LIKE THE POOR GUYS IN THE TWIN TOWERS! AHHHHHHH!" Then cling onto the closest person and squeeze. And I mean SQUEEZE. HARD.
Freak out some people by singing in a lunatic's voice: "(Place name here), I'm gonna get ya, I'm gonna kill ya, i'm gonna find ya, i got a knife!" Then pretend to be possessed. Like frothing at the mouth, like you got rabies.
Get some tape, then decorate everything (maybe even yourself) with tape, then say: "Fun with tape!" Chances are, not only are the people on the lift annoyed AND freaked out, but everyone you meet afterwards (as long as you taped yourself.)
If someone asks you something, say: "I have a brick in my briefcase/purse/bag. And I can exercise the right to defend myself in emergency situations."
Stare at someone in pure, unadulterated shock, then pretend to call the "Geek Police."

Things to do:
Play Duck, Duck, Goose with everybody in the elevator.
Act like Mr. Bean.
Make impressions of Darth Vader (or replace Darth Vader with any character of choice.)
Act like you have split personality disorder, and your evil side is winning.
Sing "My Humps" over and over again.
Pretend you accidentally got so much static you touched the button and fainted because of the shock.
Go up to the wall and put your face on it. (Even better if it's glass.) Then pretend that you're trying to squeeze out your mucus, instead of blowing your nose.
Pick your nose, take out the mucus, rub it in your hands until it becomes a ball, then flick it somewhere.
Play some Stomp in the elevator. (For those who don't know what it is, it's when you use something other than an instrument to make a harmony, melody, and/or rhythm. Like whacking metal or plastic.)
Go berserk on the innocent victim of your choice.
Sing Wake Me Up When September Ends, Wake Up Call, Makes Me Wonder, Vertigo, Dirty Little Secret, A Thousand Miles, Call Me When You're Sober, Human, or any other song you just may find annoying when sung off-key. Like crazy.
Pretend you're Patrick Zala from the Gundam Seed series, or Lord Djibril from the Gundam Seed Destiny series. Or even Kira or Athrun (for the guys) or Flay/Mirialla/Cagalli (for the girls). Definite freaker.

Big list, ehehe.
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T-minus 0 seconds.

[Captin Simpson]

Im kinda a jerk and ive done all of these
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^captincroc