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Get Battered ~ GAME OVER ~ Waffles are the best!!

 
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poll
No ending time set.
what
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
stop making polls
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
this is stupid knyh
100%
 100%  [ 3 ]
stop it
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 3

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Knyh Risotto
Bug Hunters Team Member


Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2358
Location: BACKWARDS

PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 3:52 pm Reply with quote

Sign up thread for rules and whatever
High Quality™ Prologue
This would be it. The fight to end all fights. Which batter really is better? Is it Wonderful Waffles, Perfect Pancakes, Colossal Crepes, or would the Radical Batter Anarchists win? Nobody could predict, nobody really wanted to because it meant so little. It didn’t stop the warriors, fighting for their teams, from hyping themselves up, roaring to fight. Whipped Cream, Waffles (fighting for pancakes for who knows what reason), A Microwave Gun and shear Unpredictability were the weapons of choice. A mighty selection. It would be a good fight, although Snark Master Takeoshi seemed to think “It’ll be dumb like Knyh”. Crazyone arrived late, bringing 600 cans of Irn Bru - one of which she was drinking.

A bell rang out over the field, and silence fell. It was time. Glancing around, guard up, each warrior planned their first move. Blood would be spilled this day. The Batter Gods demanded it.

Players:

Waffles:
Zane Brancacane - Whipped Cream – Shot by Globus and Ninjabear Round 1
Pepper Brancacane - Vegan quinoa burger – Shot Self Round 1.
Crazyone Totoro – Six Hundred cans of Irn Bru

Pancakes:
Takeoshi Totoro - Snarky comments – Shot self Round 1.
Miniman Mazinga - Raw dough – Shot by Jurgen Round 1.
Rojoco Anderson - Waffles – Shot by Marshall Round 1.
Globus Simpson - proto-tyrant from resident evil zero - Shot by Crazyone Round 2

Crepes:
Katz Giffuri - Lime Meringue – Shot Self Round 1.
Ninjabear Simpson - Eggs - Shot Self Round 2
Joyce Carpenter - Microwave Gun - Shot by Jurgen Round 2

Radical Batter Anarchists:
Jurgen Smith - Beer-battered cod and chips - Shot by Globus Round 2
Marshall Brancacane - Unpredictability – Shot by Crazyone Round 1.
Roxie Bauer – Donuts – Shot by Miniman Round 1.


Currently Round 3: Revenge of the Jedi There is no deadline for this because it's an after game party where you ghosts get to fight amongst yourselves and #BlameKnyh for your loss.
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Last edited by deamon on Thu Oct 05, 2017 8:34 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Jurgen Smith
Quizaboom
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Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Posts: 547
Location: 19th Century Ganymede

PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 4:02 pm Reply with quote

first
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Knyh Risotto
Bug Hunters Team Member


Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2358
Location: BACKWARDS

PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:54 pm Reply with quote

first the worst
second the best
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Marshall Brancacane



Joined: 22 Jul 2010
Posts: 105
Location: England

PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 8:17 pm Reply with quote

zero the hero boyyyy

...oh wait.

third the one with the hairy chest.
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Tango Totoro
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Joined: 02 Jul 2008
Posts: 1277

PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 3:35 pm Reply with quote

4th! Stop
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Knyh Risotto
Bug Hunters Team Member


Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2358
Location: BACKWARDS

PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:05 pm Reply with quote

Tango Totoro wrote:
4th! Stop
get out ur not even in the game
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Tango Totoro
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Joined: 02 Jul 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:39 pm Reply with quote

neither are you
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Knyh Risotto
Bug Hunters Team Member


Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2358
Location: BACKWARDS

PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 5:04 pm Reply with quote

shoot tango
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Tango Totoro
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 5:14 pm Reply with quote

Good idea.

shoot self
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Knyh Risotto
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Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2358
Location: BACKWARDS

PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 11:32 am Reply with quote

ROUND ONE IS OVER, HERE ARE THE RESULTS!
please excuse awful writing or spelling/grammar errors

Roxie, while everyone else charged into battle, sat and ate her donuts. They were delicious, clearly the best batter-based food. She was content to sit and do nothing by herself, so much so that she completely zoned out and forgot there was a battle raging on around her. A shadow crept up behind her, but she was too focused on her perfect donuts to notice. Miniman had come, raw dough in hand. He forced it into Roxie’s mouth, blocking her throat. He waited for the life to leave her eyes before unblocking her airway, and preparing to choose his next victim.

Unfortunately for Miniman, his absence from the battle had been noticed. Sharp eyed Jurgen, with his Beer-Battered Cod and Chips (the perfect pub food and obviously the best use for batter), had followed him. He watched as Miniman dispatched the less-than-focused Roxie, waiting for an opportunity to swoop in and take down Miniman. And then claim both kills for himself, as any good warrior would. While Miniman reconstituted his raw dough for another use, Jurgen launched himself in, shoving chips up his targets nose, and fish down his throat. He seemed to have a limitless supply of both, Miniman couldn’t do anything to stop his lungs from filling with Fish and Potato and delicious Batter. Jurgen beamed to himself as he walked away. A good start, he was ready to take more lives.

Rojoco had an existential crisis. He was fighting for Pancakes, using Waffles, something others were about to give their lives for. He paused for a time, standing alone with Waffles in hand. Finally, he gave up. He would let the fighting happen for now, and threw his Waffles up in the air. Before they came back down, out of nowhere, Marshall appeared. He swung a punch at Rojoco, but completely unpredictably veered his fist downward, impossibly, mid lunge, evading Rojoco’s block. The punch connected, and somehow stopped Rojoco’s heart. Nobody saw that coming, just like they wouldn’t see Marshall coming.

Crazyone had built a throne from her cans of Irn Bru. She sat drinking, a can in each hand, watching Marshall appear and disappear all over the field, impossible to track. She waited, ready for him to come close. She had a plan. Marshall appeared nearby, and was suddenly bombarded with Irn Bru. Who needed to predict where someone was when you could just throw cans over where they could be and see what happens? Marshall had been knocked out, he lay on the floor motionless. Crazyone walked up and, Agent 47 from Hitman™ style, smashed a can over Marshalls head. And then another. And another. And one more. Marshall was dead. Who could have predicted that? Crazy gathered the intact cans up, and went back to her throne for now…

Zane, minding her own business, squirting Whipped Cream around for fun, didn’t care too much for the battle. She didn’t want to involve herself. Yet. Sadly for her, others wanted to involve her. Ninjabear ran by, lobbing Eggs at her. She got up to run after him, thinking it was a fun foodfight, but Ninjabear had sinister motives. Zane slipped on a large amount of Raw Egg, hitting her head. Cursing, she tried to stand up, only to find herself face to face with a T-Virus infected, 8-foot tall monstrosity.
“This can’t be fair. All I have is whipped cream.” She cried, as she was stabbed through the heart and violently dismembered. Globus tossed his pet a treat and walked on. A tag-team kill, even though he and Ninjabear fought for different causes.

Pepper, Takeoshi and Katz all stood at the sidelines. Pepper was eating his Vegan Quinoa Burger, stuffing his face with its deliciousness. He had forgotten the point of the battle. He didn’t care when he had food this good. Likewise, Katz was eating Lime Meringue. Perfectly crunchy on the outside, chewy inside. Delicious. Neither realised that, no matter how much they ate, they still had more to go. They just kept eating. Eating and eating and eating, until finally, their stomachs full, they simply exploded.

“That’s what you get for eating so much, dummys,” snarked Takeoshi “what kind of idiot eats themselves to death, that’s almost as dumb as being called Knyh” he snickered. “Good one me!” He high fived himself. It was a bad move. Years of Snark had built a “Snarky Aura” around him, and it had just hit critical mass. He began to feel cold, darkness encroached on him and his skin went pale. “What is this some kind of stupid death because I picked a silly weapon and then chose to shoot myself?” That did it. The Snark went super-critical, and imploded. In the end, all that was left was the piece of paper he kept in his pocket at all times that said Knyh Sux.

Joyce played with her Microwave Gun, re-tuning the frequency to ensure maximum death to those who stood in her way.

Thirteen had entered, an unlucky number for some, so deaths were guaranteed. Eight people would never walk away from this place already, only five remained. And not one of them even considered anything but being the last standing, this was an all or nothing fight. The Batter Gods demanded it.


Players – Weapons - Actions:
Waffles:
Zane Brancacane - Whipped Cream – Shot the Air. Shot by Globus and Ninjabear
Pepper Brancacane - Vegan quinoa burger – Shot Self.
Crazyone Totoro – Six Hundred cans of Irn Bru – Shot Marshall
Pancakes:
Takeoshi Totoro - Snarky comments – Shot self.
Miniman Mazinga - Raw dough – Shot Roxie. Shot by Jurgen.
Rojoco Anderson - Waffles – Shot the Air. Shot by Marshall.
Globus Simpson - proto-tyrant from resident evil zero – Shot Zane.
Crepes:
Katz Giffuri - Lime Meringue – Shot Self.
Ninjabear Simpson - Eggs - Shot Zane.
Joyce Carpenter - Microwave Gun – Shot the Air.
Radical Batter Anarchists:
Jurgen Smith - Beer-battered cod and chips – Shot Miniman.
Marshall Brancacane - Unpredictability – Shot Rojoco. Shot by Crazyone.
Roxie Bauer – Donuts – NO ACTION. Shot by Miniman.


It is now Round 2 The deadline for actions is: 23:59(BST), 5th of October.
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Crazyone Totoro



Joined: 10 Nov 2007
Posts: 850
Location: Warbears, UK :3

PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 11:37 am Reply with quote

That was truly a work of art
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Tango Totoro
Quizaboom
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Joined: 02 Jul 2008
Posts: 1277

PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:25 am Reply with quote

The one true heir to the Irn Throne!
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Knyh Risotto
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Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2358
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 8:33 pm Reply with quote

Early update because I got all actions and apparently I'm the only game host with too much time on their hands Razz
ROUND TWO IS OVER, HERE ARE THE RESULTS!
please excuse awful writing or spelling/grammar errors who has time to proof read this nonsense? Not me. Also who has actual writing talent? Not me either.

Following the absolute carnage of the last round, five people remained. Surprisingly, no one team had been completely eliminated. That was about to change.

Ninjabear, still smiling from the part he played in Zane’s death, tossed a few eggs in the air. He juggled three, then four, then five. Skilfully taking another out of his pocket and adding it to the juggle, without dropping any. Five was difficult. Six was too much. The sixth egg came out, but not fast enough. One dropped on his head, cracking. It broke his concentration. He looked up, confused for a moment, and another egg landed in his left eye. Then his right. He slipped and fell, blinded. His head hit the ground. Dazed and confused, the final two eggs fell. The first hit him in the face, raw egg filling his mouth. The fifth and final egg, miraculously for some, slid straight down his throat, cracked and sliced open his trachea. He choked on his own blood soon after…

Joyce meanwhile, was still calibrating her microwave gun. She had recently installed a new PCB that supposedly made the gun more efficient, and she was almost ready to test it. After a quick charge she fired a shot into the air. Perfect! Efficiency was up 34% and the shot was deadlier than ever! She laughed her evil, world domination laugh. Nobody could stand in her way now! Except they did. Jurgen stood in front of her, on a mound of beer-battered cod and chips. He was pulling it infinitely out of his pockets, and Joyce had somehow missed him building a shear wall of food around her. There was no escape. Before she could aim her microwave gun at him, Jurgen ran around his wall, pushing several tonnes of food onto Joyce. He could end world hunger with this miracle, but instead was using it to crush people. He laughed at Joyce’s screams. Another victim down, and he was one step closer to domination.

Sadly for Jurgen, he would not survive much longer. He ran from the mound of food formerly known as Joyce, searching for his next target. Instead he came across the monstrous proto-tyrant that Globus had somehow tamed (don’t question how). Even an infinite amount of food couldn’t tempt this beast, nor could it be weaponised as it was against Joyce. At least, not without considerable prep time that Jurgen didn’t have. A small dog-biscuit, or what looked like a dog-biscuit, hit him in the face. The monster lunged, left hand diving for the biscuit, right hand (the spiky one) lunging for Jurgens heart. Jurgen fell to his knees, rapidly bleeding to death. The monster ate the treat and ran back to its master, who stroked it. How on Earth did Globus ever manage to tame such a beast?

Elsewhere, Crazyone had plenty of time to prepare for the monster. Her throne of Irn Bru only really took 300 cans, so she had close to 300 more (minus those she had been drinking, which littered the ground around the throne) to fight with. She had carefully opened each one and drained them into a large vat. Irn Bru is famously made with real girders, and from nearly 300 cans she had made a large weight with ”ACME” written on it. She sat on her throne, drinking a can, waiting for someone to approach. Globus was the only other person left living on the battlefield. He was who she was prepared for. She beckoned him closer, until he and his beloved monster were stood only a few meters in front of her.
“Look down,” she smirked, “Bye Felicia!” With that the weight dropped. Globus and his pet had been stood right on an “X” of empty cans, and were crushed by the definitely-really-possible-to-make Irn ACME weight. Crazyone tossed her now empty can at them both, laughing, and then took a cold one off the throne to crack open with the boys (she was the boys, given she was the only person left).

So, there it was. The fight to end all fights over which batter-based foodstuff is the best. Waffles had won. Of course they had, who didn’t like Waffles? Only dummies couldn’t see Waffles being the winner. The Batter Gods smiled from above. These tiny humans had no idea, this was only the start! Batter would rain from the sky, a Waffle Inquisition (unexpected) would capture and kill any non-believers, and the age of Waffles could finally begin. Crazyone, as reward for her prowess in battle, would be allowed to rule over the land with an Irn fist, from an Irn throne.

CRAZYONE WINS FOR TEAM WAFFLE


Players – Weapons - Actions:
Waffles:
Crazyone Totoro – Six Hundred cans of Irn Bru – Shot Globus.
Pancakes:
Globus Simpson - proto-tyrant from resident evil zero – Shot Jurgen. Shot by Crazyone.
Crepes:
Ninjabear Simpson - Eggs - Shot Self.
Joyce Carpenter - Microwave Gun – Shot air. Shot by Jurgen.

Radical Batter Anarchists:
Jurgen Smith - Beer-battered cod and chips – Shot Joyce. Shot by Globus.


It is now Round 3: Revenge of the Jedi There is no deadline for this because it's an after game party where you ghosts get to fight amongst yourselves and #BlameKnyh for your loss. GG all!
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Tango Totoro
Quizaboom
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Joined: 02 Jul 2008
Posts: 1277

PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 11:50 pm Reply with quote

Poor Ninja, everyone is off shooting each other and they leave him alone to die

Shame on you
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Ninjabear Simpson
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Joined: 06 Apr 2008
Posts: 1388
Location: France

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 3:58 pm Reply with quote

I should have targeted Crazy Razz
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